


Apple To My Pie

by WriteThroughTheNight



Category: X-Men (Movies), X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Crack Treated Seriously, Erik and Charles are forced to sing their feelings, Fix-It, M/M, Musical, Pining, Post-Cuba, lots of singing, very little plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2015-09-07
Packaged: 2018-04-19 15:48:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4752038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WriteThroughTheNight/pseuds/WriteThroughTheNight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Charles tries to rebuild his life after a modern day Cuba, and he's doing pretty well, until he runs into a mutant that makes him sing his feelings. Then- then things stop going well really quickly.</p>
<p>OR</p>
<p>Charles and Erik are forced to sing their feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Apple To My Pie

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again! This is my first foray into the X-Men fandom, so I hope I did alright!
> 
> This mostly came about when I heard Bad Blood on the radio and thought immediately "Charles would totally sing this to Erik". Of course, in the actual story, Bad Blood is never actually a part but. Anyway. This takes place in a modern day Cuba which sort of defeats the purpose of the Cuban Missile Crisis, but I needed modern songs so. This is a Cuba where Shaw tried to start World War III and several countries are trying to stop him, including the CIA and the mutants. The mutants save the day, at Shaw's first stop in Cuba and things happen just like the movie, various countries still try to fire on them when they discover mutantkind. Of course, because this is modern, the event is broadcasted live, and public opinion becomes a lot more pro-mutant.
> 
> I have no beta just my friend Bioluminescent who's very awesome. This is an early birthday present since her actual birthday present won't be done in time. The songs used are listed at the end!
> 
> Enjoy!

Charles' morning routine isn't as pleasant as it used to be. In his Oxford days, Charles would roll out of bed near noon, earlier if he'd gone to bed with someone the previous night. He'd drink a large cup of tea and bury himself in his work. After the CIA but before Cuba, Charles would get up earlier, eat breakfast with Erik and the children, and spend the day training, learning, growing, bringing his childhood home to life again.

His mornings now go like this: Charles wakes up sometime after dawn from a nightmare. It's an awful five minutes before he manages to get himself into his wheelchair, and an awful half hour before he gets any tea. He reads the paper, greets the children, Alex and Sean (and more recently Jean, Scott, and Ororo), whenever they get up, and checks on Hank in his lab. Today goes much the same, Alex carrying Scott into the room upside down, Jean and Ororo giggling quietly together as Sean pours them cereal. Charles touches on each of their minds casually, sees they're all relatively happy, and heads off to check on Hank.

Hank nearly lives in the labs at this point, citing the fact that he doesn't need as much sleep, and that what he's working on can't wait. Charles knows he's rebuilding Cerebro, knows this with both trepidation and excitement. Watching the dome grow, all Charles can think of is the first one, Raven smiling at him, Erik looking worried, and nearly losing his feet (oh what he'd give to be able to stand again) as thousands, _millions_ of minds rushed in. He thinks of Erik's hand, gripping his elbow when he stumbled, and Raven rushing off to get him tea, and- No. Down that way lies nothing but darkness.

Charles shuts down the part that aches, that screams for Raven, his sister, his family, for Erik, his friend, his-

Charles blocks out his emotions with the ease of long practice. No one's there to see Charles take a shaky breath and close his eyes. When he's centered again, he forgoes the power option on his chair and opts to move himself manually. The slight exertion helps him focus enough that when he reaches Hank's lab, he can offer a smile. Hank nearly collides with him on his way out the door. 

"Professor!" Hank grins. "I was just coming to find you! Great news, I checked all the various systems, and I think the new Cerebro is finally finished." 

Charles smiles back, focusing his mind on the present, on the impatience Hank radiates. "Let's give it whirl then, shall we?"

He allows Hank to push him into the new space, right up to the familiar looking helmet. Sitting back, Charles lets Hank secure the device to his head. The other man is thinking all the while about how it would be so much easier if he would just shave his head, and Charles snorts.

_Still not happening, Hank._

Hank flushes, and backs away. "Anyway, I'm going to start her up. You ready, Professor?"

"Yes." He shifts to be more comfortable and closes his eyes.

"Alright. Three, two, one." 

There's nothing, and then there's everything. 

Charles' eyes fly open like last time, as the noise in his head explodes to an entirely different level, but it's beautiful, it's wonderful. Mutantkind's future plays before his eyes, grinning children, young adults, the occasional older presence. He'd found Jean and Ororo from the first list, the CIA's, they were the ones he and Erik had deemed too young. Hank had erased their existence off the CIA servers, and Charles out of agents' minds. He might not agree with Erik entirely, but he knew well enough to protect those that couldn't yet protect themselves.

That's when he looks for them specifically, starting with a little boy with wings, that surly man from the bar again, a teenage girl with a mutation with something to do with music.

By the time Charles unplugs, Hank has a decent sized list to start with. The younger man is jumping with excitement, verbally and mentally, and Charles can see the mansion turning into a safe place, a school for people like him.

For the first time in a while, Charles has hope.

 

The boy is easy enough to find. Warren Worthington III reminds Charles a little too much of himself before Raven, a quiet child in a house too big and silent. When Charles offers his parents a place to send their son where he can be taught to control his wings, they ship him off far too easily. A check and a suitcase, and it's like they've washed their hands of the matter. Charles aches for the boy, but after a few days adjustment he seems happy enough at the mansion, playing with Scott and the others, smiling and letting his voice fill the caverns of Westchester. He happens to know that Sean is taking him on as a prodigy, teaching him the basics of gliding and flying despite the different mechanics.

With four young children, Charles starts to teach. They're at different levels, but he buys curriculum enough for the four of them, teaches them math, science, english. Every other evening, he takes the entire mansion out, Hank included, and works on their mutations. These nights are the best, with little Ororo pouring rain on them and Jean tossing around pebbles and branches, with Scott and Alex blasting things side by side, rough housing. Warren and Sean fly around their heads, and Hank builds up muscles to jump farther, run faster, lift more.

Charles feeds off the freedom the others feel, the joy, and pretends the tight leash he keeps on his telepathy doesn't bother him.

He thinks of Erik and Raven, _Mutant and Proud_ , and can almost banish the ache in his chest.

 

The next trip is more difficult. Charles considers the matter carefully, before deciding to try again with the man from the bar. He takes Alex with him, and hopes to God that Hank and Sean are indeed mature enough to watch four children. Well, at least they promised to call if anything goes wrong.

Unsurprisingly, they end up in another bar, worn down but comfortable, and Charles tries a different tactic. He orders a drink, whiskey for him, soda for a complaining Alex, and rolls up to where the man is sitting. 

"Fuck off." 

Charles swallows from his glass, puts it on the table. "Not this time." 

There's a hockey game on the television in the corner; the people watching it at the bar let out a cheer. Charles flicks through their emotions, settles on the irritation of the man before him.

"Listen, bub, I don't give a fuck about what you want from me, so why don't you walk the fuck away before I make sure you can't." The man growls, not even bothering to look in Charles' direction.

Alex is watching from a few tables away, sending Charles alarm and worry. But Charles snorts; he can't help it.

"I'm paralyzed from the waist down," he says dryly. "I'm not walking out either way, Logan."

That gets the man's attention, and he turns. There's no apology in his eyes as he looks Charles up and down, but there is faint recognition.

"Last time you were here, you could walk."

Charles inclines his head. "You're correct." 

"You know my name." Logan says slowly.

Charles nods again.

The other man's emotions are less irritation and more wariness. In the back of his mind, there's something like curiosity. 

"Who are you?"

"My name is Charles Xavier," he holds out a hand to shake, drops it when it becomes clear Logan won't take it, "I'm a mutant like you, and I'm here with a job offer."

In the silence that follows, Charles considers whether this is the wise choice, allowing a man so aggressive to be around his children, his remaining family. But there is good in the man's mind, this isn't someone who will harm innocents, Charles can see his life play out and no one deserves to be alone. 

"Buy me a drink, Chuck, and tell me what the fuck I'm getting into."

Charles doesn't fist pump, even if it's a close thing, and orders Logan a drink.

"I want you to come on as security for the school I'm building, along with teach self-defense to my students." And yes, maybe Charles takes pleasure in the way Logan chokes on his drink.

Surprisingly, Logan comes back with him. Unsurprisingly, he's an awful teacher.

 

The break between recruiting trips is longer. Charles takes the time to settle Logan in, teach the younger children more basic necessities. The four absolutely adore their new addition, following the man everywhere even as he fortifies the mansion, beats Alex, Sean, and Hank into the ground day after day.

Logan pretends to be annoyed by it, Charles knows, but he can sense the other man weakening. Within ten days, Logan can almost always be found with a kid on his shoulders. Within a month Logan participates on training nights, slicing things apart with his remarkable claws, giving Warren boosts into the air and Jean a near indestructible human to try lifting. He may complain when Ororo soaks him or Scott singes him, but Charles knows his home is safer now, and Logan likes it there.

 

Charles hates it, but he can't help it, and every night that he ends up back in his study. The chess board sits on the table, neatly set up, and he remembers the night before Cuba, finishing his last game with Erik, promising a rematch the next night because it had seemed impossible that they wouldn't come back for the game, that they wouldn't play chess together again.

Erik left, Erik left him on the beach paralyzed and took his sister with him, didn't even _call_ to see if he survived. And sure, he'd seemed upset when he saw Charles was paralyzed, but he still didn't take off that helmet, that helmet that blocked Charles out, that hurt more than it should.

Like every night, Charles looks at the chess board and asks himself if he'll ever move on.

 

Logan is the one who comes with him to find the next girl. She's in university in New York, and agrees to sit in the park and listen to what Charles has to say.

Her name is Antoinette and she radiates delight that she's not alone anymore, along with an air of mischief that Charles can't help but find familiar.

"Would you like to come back to my school with us? You can be among friends there."

Charles can feel her hesitance, though he tries to be courteous and ignore it. He can't quite figure out what her power is, as she doesn't seem to have a name for it, but it appears to have to do with music and empathy. He would say that it's to make people sing their feelings, but quite frankly that seems absurd.

It would be a mix of compulsion, but also seems to work over a set period of time, so perhaps- 

Antoinette comes to a decision, and Charles knows what it is before she says the words.

"No thank you, I'm happy here."

Charles is disappointed, but he still smiles at her. "Feel free to call anytime, Ms. Williams. Though I was wondering what precisely your mutation is?"

Now that mischief is back in full force, and Charles dismisses the urge to flee. He has a feeling he's going to regret asking.

Of course, that's right when the building across the street explodes and all hell breaks loose.

 

When Raven asks later, Erik stands by fact that he had no idea Charles was going to be in New York when they struck. 

He's being entirely honest, secure in the idea that Charles is in Westchester putting together his school and ignoring the war on the horizon. If Charles would only open up his eyes and see he wouldn't be so lax, would be by Erik's side where he belonged.

Well, perhaps not by his side. After all, Erik put a bullet in his back, paralyzed the one person he wanted to protect the most. Yes, Charles will never be by his side, but at least he could prepare for a fight, instead of treating humans as harmless.

He'd at least hired someone as protection, Erik's latest bout of spying had told him. There had been improvements to the mansion in security, which was a start, and training had continued for the others. It made it easier to push Charles to the back of his mind, to shove down the urge to go back to his friend, to beg forgiveness. Or at least, Erik had stopped warping metal every time someone mentioned him.

So when Erik mobilizes the Brotherhood to make a mess at an anti-mutant rally in New York, Charles is the last thing on his mind.

Of course, as the carefully set explosion destroys the side of a building, Erik catches a glimpse of a wheelchair and blue eyes, and curses.

 

By the time Charles has recovered from the shock, assured Logan he's fine, and smoothed the panic from Antoinette's mind, he's started to regret, well, everything.

"We're far enough from the initial blast, honestly Logan, you can leave us here." Charles sends a wave of confidence along with his words. 

Logan glares at him.

"I'm not too wild about these orders of yours, Chuck."

Charles rolls his eyes, internally wondering how long he has to convince Logan to go help first responders before Erik shows up. (Magneto. No, Erik; despite what he's told Charles he will always be Erik.) It isn't too much of stretch to figure out what's going on, once Charles feels the minds around him. Unwittingly, he'd chosen to meet with Antoinette near a rally against mutants, the same one the Brotherhood had apparently decided to deal with.

They've been all over the place since mutants were revealed to the public in the wake of Cuba. It's not easy to continue hiding the existence of mutations when news helicopters catch video of a submarine getting lifted out of the water and people flying. Charles doesn't regret any of it, not really. They stopped Shaw and his people from setting off a nuclear weapon powerful enough to level an entire continent, which of course about fourteen different countries rewarded them for with missiles, but in the end, World War 3 didn't start, Erik didn't murder a few thousand people on live television, and the planet had to deal with the discovery of mutants.

Also, Charles was paralyzed and abandoned by his best friend, but in the greater scale of things he's pretty insignificant.

In response, mutants were acknowledged and protested publicly. Surprisingly, there was just as large of a crowd on the other side of things, vehement supporters of mutant rights, entirely human. Charles would've liked to see Erik's face when he heard about them.

The back and forth of the two parties has been standard practice for the past year, which Charles is going to use to excuse his ignorance of the protest he ended up near.

Logan eventually disappears to help the people Charles directs him to, the ones the first responders might have difficulty reaching. Within a minute of him disappearing from sight, Erik storms into view, cape flaring behind him rather dramatically and helmet firmly in place. Antoinette, who Charles has honestly forgotten about, lets out a frightened gasp. Charles sends her a mental reassurance, which of course only causes her to flinch in alarm, but nothing for it.

When it seems that Erik is just going to stand there and glare at him, Charles finally throws up his hands.

"Honestly, Erik-"

"What the fuck are you doing here, Charles." The hard line of his mouth doesn't so much as waver.

"Oh, no you don't." Charles snaps. "You do not get to blame the fact that you blew up a building on me, Erik. It's not _my_ fault that you decided to ruin a nice peaceful day with explosives!"

"You could've been hurt!"

"People were hurt, Erik," Charles growls. "In case you didn't notice."

"Why are you here, Charles?" Erik demands. Charles wishes he wasn't wearing that helmet, because he has never wanted more to turn someone into two-year old.

Of course he also wants to beg Erik to come home, to come back, to not leave him alone anymore, to kiss him and never leave again.

It's a toss-up which he'd actually go for, given the opportunity.

"Being more productive than you are! We're never going to be equal if we make them think we're monsters." 

Erik scoffs.

"We're already equal, more than equal, we shouldn't have to act any way to get rights, Charles." Charles huffs, opens his mouth to interrupt, but Erik steamrolls over him, glancing dismissively at Antoinette. At least the girl is keeping her cool, even if the curiosity rolling off her is a bit disconcerting. "Recruiting more children for your superhero team?"

At this point, Charles would settle for actually punching Erik in the face. 

"No, I'm recruiting for my school, where mutants can learn instead of fighting a war of your own making."

For some reason that makes Erik's face soften, but Charles can't tell if his look is amusement or disdain with the helmet keeping him out.

"Oh Charles, you idealistic fool." 

The tone in which its spoken, layered with affection, seeps the fight out of Charles. He slumps.

"We can shape a future of peace, my friend, not one of bombings and threats."

"Peace was never an option." It's said less as a defense, more by rote. 

"If it is not an option, then what use is any of this?" Charles asks. He doesn't give Erik a chance to answer. "You're doing more harm than good, Erik. I wish you could see that."

Erik, stubborn bastard that he is, dismisses him and turns to Antoinette. 

"I'm sure Charles has made his offer, but you have a place with the Brotherhood too. You'll be protected from the humans."

Antoinette stares at him. 

"You don't even know what my mutation is." She says slowly. Her mind is running a loop of _does he not care, I'm not a fighter, humans have never hurt me, my parents love me._

"Erik, leave the poor girl out of it. She's happy where she is." Charles interjects.

"Are you really the best judge of that?" Erik raises an eyebrow. He doesn't have to specify who he's talking about, and Charles is grateful that Erik's wearing the helmet so he doesn't feel the flash of hurt that escapes his shields. 

Raven.

Antoinette frowns, looking between them, but Charles focuses on Erik, who at least looks partly sorry for what he's said.

"Charles-"

"Is she happy, Erik? I just want her to be happy." 

Erik's expression softens again. 

"She misses you. But I think she's happy."

Charles swallows, throat tight. _What about you,_ he wants to ask, are you happy? Do you miss playing chess, training the children, arguing over drinks? Do you miss me, Erik? Because sometimes I'm alright but then I miss you so much it hurts and I wish this gap between us would disappear. I miss you like a limb. I turn to smile at you and you aren't there. I feel like I've lost a part of me, and I worry about how far I'd go to get you back. Please come home Erik.

Charles doesn't say any of that, not out loud anyway, and with the helmet Erik wears it wouldn't matter if he projected it as loud as he could, because Erik wouldn't hear, and Erik wouldn't come home.

"Thank you." He says instead, and he doesn't know where they go from here. He meets Erik's eyes and wishes he could rewind a year and make things go differently. 

If Charles had been paying more attention, perhaps he'd have noticed Antoinette come to a decision and raise her hands. Perhaps he would have felt her mutation kick in, the different way it works and influences her mind. 

Instead, Charles doesn't realize what's happening until his mouth opens without his consent.

_"What have I got to do to make you love me_  
What have I got to do to make you care  
What do I do when lightning strikes me  
And I wake to find that you're not there." 

It's like Charles isn't in control of his mouth, like time has frozen except for the words slipping through his lips. His voice is not his own, and he throws up shields to try to stop Antoinette from whatever she's doing, but it does nothing. He's singing, voice riddled with emotion, and he can't stop it.

_"What do I do to make you want me_  
What have I got to do to be heard  
What do I say when it's all over  
And sorry seems to be the hardest word." 

It has to be connected to his emotions. But Charles can't control it, not when the song makes it worse, not when even looking at Erik makes something in him hurt. The more he hurts, the more the words affect him, and Charles wants to be ashamed, to hide because this song is far too honest, exposing the things he never wanted to be exposed. He can't meet Erik's eyes, he can't.

_"It's sad, so sad_  
It's a sad, sad situation  
And it's getting more and more absurd  
It's sad, so sad  
Why can't we talk it over  
Oh it seems to me  
That sorry seems to be the hardest word." 

He wants the song to stop, wants it more than anything in the world. Miraculously, it does, and Charles is left gasping. He probably would've fallen if he hadn't been in a wheelchair, and he still can't make himself look up. 

Antoinette is silent, and Charles is coming close to hating her, can't even care that she's sniffling as if touched by his song. He didn't want Erik to know that, didn't want to sing it to him, didn't want-

Erik clears his throat, and what comes out freezes Charles in place. His voice is beautiful, deep and rich, and Charles wants to curl up in that voice and never come out again.

_"Baby, I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time,_  
And maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you.  
Maybe I'm amazed at the way you pulled me out of time,  
You hung me on the line.  
Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you." 

Charles stares at Erik, at the way he's looking at Charles like he's trying to communicate something. He doesn't get it, can't understand Erik's thoughts with the helmet on, but he can pretend that Erik means what he's singing, that Erik needs him in the same all-encompassing way that Charles does him.

_"Baby, I'm a man, maybe I'm a lonely man,_  
Who's in the middle of something,  
That he doesn't really understand." 

When Erik tapers off they stare at each other. Charles wants to reach out, but it's like he's frozen in place. Erik was compelled to sing, if he didn't mean what he'd sang than Charles can't risk what little friendship they have left. If Erik would just take the helmet off, let Charles in-

Before Charles has recovered enough to say anything, Erik's expression clouds. He wants to reach out, fix it, make Erik happy, but Erik presses a button on his shirt and then Azazel is there, and then they're both gone and Charles is left sitting in the silence, feeling like something just cracked apart in his chest and the only glue that can put it together again was stolen away.

When Logan gets there ten minutes later, having done what he could, he finds Charles slumped in his wheelchair singing, "Please don't leave me" over and over again.

 

"I can't fix it." Antoinette says again. She's agreed to come back to the mansion, or more been kidnapped to it, but it doesn't matter because she's telling the truth. "It has to run its course."

Once the children had stopped laughing, they'd listened to Antoinette somewhat seriously. Perhaps it had to do with the absolutely miserable look on Charles' face, but the situation seems to have sunken in. 

_"Oh, I can't stop singing_  
Make it stop, make it stop  
Am I real or just a prop?  
Oh  
I can't stop singing, so let's just talk  
Talk, talk." 

They all stare at him, and Charles covers his face with his hands.

"This is awful." He groans. "What's the trigger? Can you tell me that at least?"

Antoinette frowns at him. _I didn't mean this to happen, I just wanted to make them happy._

"I know." Charles says, rubbing a hand roughly down his face. "It's not your fault."

Logan snorts. 

"Pretty sure it's the definition of her fault."

"Logan," Charles cuts in, "Enough."

"I'm sorry." Antoinette whispers. "It has do with emotion, whenever you're feeling something strongly you'll sing a song that matches it."

"And how do you resolve it?" Hank asks. Antoinette glances at him warily, not 100% comfortable with his visible mutation it seems.

"Well," she says nervously, "It ended when I was kid once my parents stopped fighting and got back together."

There's silence, and then Sean and Alex start laughing. Charles can feel the blood drain from his face.

"You're telling me the Professor and Magneto have to get together for the singing to stop?" Alex snorts. "That's never going to happen, we're going to be dealing with singing for the rest of our _lives._ " 

Antoinette frowns. 

"I don't know, they seemed pretty close. I almost cried when Charles sang Elton John."

All laughter abruptly cuts off. Charles wishes his mutation was more on level of sinking through the floor. Four sets of eyes settle on him.

"You sang Magneto, the guy who put a bullet in your back, Elton John?!" Sean all but shrieks.

Charles winces. "Maybe."

"Oh my god." Hank says, mind and voice colored with realization. "You're in love with him. That's why you were so miserable after Cuba! You're in love with Erik!"

Charles winces. Alex, Sean, and Hank start talking over each other, and Logan meets his eyes.

_His friend,_ he's thinking. _The one he came with the first time he tried for me._

"I was also paralyzed!" Charles interjects. "That's rather upsetting too, don't you think?"

"And he's the one who paralyzed you!" Alex says back, incredulity coloring his voice. 

"He didn't mean it?" 

"Oh my god, Professor, you really are in love with him aren't you?" Sean stares.

Charles ignores him.

"Thank you for your help, Ms. Williams. Logan will show you out, so sorry to have taken up your time."

She stands and stoops to hug him. "Good luck, Professor. It always works out, I promise."

Charles smiles at her wanly. "Not this time I'm afraid."

 

A few hundred miles away, the metal in the Brotherhood headquarters screams. It doesn't make Mystique stop laughing, if anything she laughs harder.

_"So shut up, shut up, shut up_  
Don't wanna hear it  
Get out, get out, get out  
Get out of my way  
Step up, step up, step up  
You'll never stop me  
Nothing you say today  
Is gonna bring me down." 

Erik growls, actually growls, when the compulsion drops away. Mystique is hunched over, tears streaming down her face. He throws a heavy steel rebar at her, but she dodges and doesn't stop laughing. The others are a safe distance away but he can see their amusement, and if he doesn't get away right now someone will end up dead.

He storms past Mystique and up the stairs, the railings warping across the steps behind him, making them impassable. This better be temporary or Erik won't be responsible for his actions.

 

It stops being endlessly hilarious the fourth time one of the children stumbles across Charles staring at the chessboard and singing "Someone Like You". 

Jean doesn't leave him alone for days, hugging him every time he starts to look sad. Even Alex starts to feel awful for laughing that first day when he stops by to see the Professor one evening.

The firelight plays over the Professor's slumped form, and Alex watches as his teacher's hand strokes slowly over the chessboard.

_"Nothing compares_  
No worries or cares  
Regrets and mistakes  
They are memories made.  
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?" 

The Professor's voice cracks, and when he continues his voice trembles on the verge of tears. Alex is frozen in place.

_"Never mind, I'll find someone like you_  
I wish nothing but the best for you too  
Don't forget me, I beg  
I'll remember you said,  
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead." 

The Professor sits there in silence, back to Alex, and in that moment he's never hated Magneto more. He did this. He made Charles- who used to laugh and teach and preach hope, who saved Alex from a hell of his own making- into someone who cries over a chessboard every night.

It isn't fair.

 

Raven stops finding things funny just as quickly.

She's out scouting with Erik, checking the status of a mutant bill making its way through the senate. Things are fine, they aren't speaking, just checking over information and listening through the bug they placed.

It makes it obvious when Erik tenses up, and Raven quickly follows his line of sight. What she sees makes her groan.

There's a man strolling across the street, unremarkable except for the fact that he's wearing a cardigan and has curly brown hair. He doesn't look much like her brother, like Charles, but apparently it's still enough. 

Erik's voice, Raven has discovered, is actually quite beautiful. He sings with a deep reverence for the words he's saying, even if they are forced, and it's the most emotion that Raven ever hears from him.

Of course, 90% of the time he's singing about how much he loves her brother, which is a bit of a turn off.

_"Couldn't stand to be kept away just for the day from your body._  
Wouldn't wanna be swept away, far away from the one that I love.  
Hold me now. It's hard for me to say I'm sorry. I just want you to know.  
Hold me now. I really want to tell you I'm sorry. I could never let you go." 

The whole time time Erik sings, his eyes don't leave the man. He's slumped in his seat, like all the fight has been drained out of him, and Raven aches for him. It's gotten to the point where Erik doesn't even get angry about the singing anymore, it just makes him... sad. There's a word Raven never would've associated with Erik. Angry, yes. Disappointed, sure. But sad? Not in a million years. And yet...

_"After all that we've been through, I will make it up to you. I promise to._  
And after all that's been said and done,  
You're just the part of me I can't let go." 

Erik doesn't say a word after he finishes, just stares blankly out the window. Raven sighs, and looks back down at the pages she's going through. It's been a long week.

It doesn't look to be getting any better.

 

One of the less depressing aspects of the situation quickly becomes annoying.

Every time someone helps Charles, he without fail belts out, 

_"What would you think if I sang out of tune_  
Would you stand up and walk out on me?  
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song  
And I'll try not to sing out of key  
Oh I get by with a little help from my friends  
Mm I get high with a little help from my friends  
Mm gonna try with a little help from my friends." 

The other day, Sean caught Logan of all people humming it under his breath, and it's starting to grate. 

When did his life become a musical?

Sean is starting to think he should just scream and deafen everyone in the mansion. He's pretty sure he'd be considered a hero.

The kids don't seem to understand what's going on, clapping and giggling when the Prof finishes a song. Sometimes they even sing along, if Charles is in a pop mood and starts belting out songs that they all recognize. Every one else is starting to get a little twitchy around the eyes, flinching every time Charles opens his mouth or even enters a room.

The worst part, Sean thinks, is that the Professor can obviously tell their tempers are fraying, and he can't do a thing about it. As another week passes, Sean watches Charles slowly retreat into his room, avoiding them all like after Cuba, even though any time Sean gets within a hundred feet there's almost always mournful singing.

He calls a meeting after the younger kids are in bed.

"Guys, we need to do something." He tells them.

Logan looks bored, slouched back in his chair with his feet on the table, Alex looks wholly in agreement, and Hank looks hesitant.

"The last I asked him for help with my powers, we worked for ten minutes before he start singing 'Burn baby burn'." Alex grits out.

Logan snorts. "The last time I chatted with him, we had a normal talk until all of a sudden he looks at that fucking chessboard and starts singing 'Love of my life'."

Hanks shifts, looking uncomfortable. "He keeps singing 'Just the way you are' every time I mention my mutation." Hank rolls his eyes when Alex snickers. "But I also don't know what there is for us to do."

Sean has thought long and carefully about this. The professor is miserable, the singing is driving everyone up the wall, and there's only one way to stop it.

"We need to get him and Magneto to hook up." He says.

Logan nods. "Bub, I was gonna recommend that a week ago."

But Hank and Alex are staring at Sean in poorly concealed horror.

"You want us to do what?!"

 

At this point, Raven doesn't know how much longer she can take this.

Erik is as sharp as a razor, snapping back replies, glaring at everyone, warping metal wherever he goes. Yet the fucking singing won't stop.

Azazel is sporting a bruise from where Erik whipped a crow bar at him, and the rest of the Brotherhood has been practicing stealth evasion since. Only Raven is brave enough to continue talking with their fearless leader on a daily basis.

She's not obligated to, per say, but there's a certain amount of sympathy there, almost as if she needs to take Charles' place in comforting him. Not that much comfort goes on. It's almost reassuring in a way, to see that Erik still has emotions, even if they're used up pining for her brother. 

Take yesterday for instance. Raven had done research on another woman who claimed to have a mutation, and the results had been _amazing._ She could give anything she touched an electric charge, regardless of whether it had conductive properties. From what Raven could tell, she created an almost forcefield of electricity around things, and could do it to varying degrees of power.

Of course, as she had told Raven during her interview, she shorts out anything remotely electronic, cellphones, computers, even light switches. 

It wasn't much of a deterrent, and when Raven finally had enough to present her to Erik as a candidate she was pleased.

As Erik read it over, he'd given almost no reaction. Though she remained aloof, she had to admit that she had been hoping for more than this nonchalant nod and an unperturbed smirk.

And that was why, as Erik handed her the information folder back and told her to start the final recruitment process, it was extremely satisfying to see him freeze and start singing "I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it."

Sure Erik had stormed away afterward, but it didn't make the moment of victory any less sweet.

It's moments like now, however, that make Raven ache for him, for Charles, for what they lost.

She can hear him singing from the landing of the stairs, and she doesn't interrupt him.

_"And even as I wander_  
I'm keeping you in sight  
You're a candle in the window  
On a cold, dark winter's night  
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might." 

He sounds broken open, and in that moment, something in Raven comes to a decision. What they're doing is important, and she's still pissed at Charles, but it's pointlessly awful to do this, to keep Erik apart from the person he can't stop singing about.

_"And I can't fight this feeling anymore_  
I've forgotten what I started fighting for  
It's time to bring this ship into the shore  
And throw away the oars, forever." 

When she's sure Erik is finished, she walks the final few steps to lean against his doorway. He doesn't turn around, stays slumped in his seat looking out the window, helmet pressing against the glass.

"Erik." She says softly.

He doesn't move at first, but eventually he turns and Raven can see from here his struggle to put his face into something blanker, less miserable. At some point he gives up, and just stares at her with a look somewhere between challenging and vulnerable.

"You really miss him don't you?" She asks.

It's a toss-up whether or not he'll answer, but he does, even meets her eyes. "Yes. Don't you?"

Something inside her cracks. Raven's moving before she thinks about, wrapping her arms around Erik in a hug, clinging to him. Does she miss Charles? Of course she misses him, it's like losing a limb, a part of her. Slowly, stiffly, Erik's arms settle around her, patting a shoulder carefully. 

"You can always go back, you know. I won't force you to stay." He tells her.

Raven shakes her head. "You can go back too. He'd do anything to have you back."

His arms drop away. "No. I can't."

She takes the cue and pulls away. Erik's eyes find hers, and she smiles. "When you realize you can, I'll go back with you." 

Raven leaves the room before he has a chance to reply.

 

For Hank, the breaking point comes only a few days after the impromptu meeting in the kitchen. Sean had made a compelling argument of why they needed to get Charles and Magneto together, but he wasn't quite convinced.

Magneto had put a bullet in the Professor's back, paralyzed him. Hank doesn't know how the others are so quick to forget Charles' long recovery, the days he wouldn't get out of bed, how he would rediscover his paralysis every morning. For months, the heartbreak was written over the Professor like a second skin. Hank still worries that there'll be a setback, and that they'll lose Charles for good.

He doesn't understand how the others are so willing to subject Charles to it all over again, if Magneto was to leave. 

Of course, that's when it becomes his turn to bring the Professor dinner in his rooms.

From down the hallway, Hank can hear the sound of the television, which he takes as a good sign. Then he gets closer, makes out the words, 'most recent disruption at an anti-mutant rally', and sighs.

Somehow, despite everything, he's unprepared for what he sees when he pushes open the door. 

Charles sits in his wheelchair before the TV, crying. The song he's singing, hauntingly beautiful despite being overplayed on the radio, hits Hank somewhere in the chest.

_"And I... will swallow my pride_  
You're the one that I love  
And I'm saying goodbye." 

The Professor- no, he's clearly Charles right now, is shaking. His shoulders are trembling, and his head is bowed.

_"Say something, I'm giving up on you_  
And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you  
And anywhere I would've followed you  
Say something, I'm giving up on you." 

Hank stumbles back at the sheer _hurt_ in the wrenching sob that Charles releases. The man is projecting his pain, and Hank can only watch as the strongest man he ever met is reduced to crying in front of a television. 

It feels like hours before Charles pulls himself together, draws all that pain back into himself, and Hank is left gasping. Charles' hands bury themselves in his dark hair, a shaky sigh the only noise in the room. Without a word, Hank puts the tray with food on the table by the door and walks out.

Sean was right. They have no choice.

 

Finding the Brotherhood base is surprisingly easy. Alex and the others worry about it, putting together some big operation to figure it out, but Hank just disappears into his lab for a few minutes and comes back to slap coordinates on the table they're all surrounding. They stare at him, even Logan raising an eyebrow.

"All I had to do was check the Cerebro readings. Whatever the coordinates were that Charles keeps mentally avoiding must be where they're all holed up." 

Alex rolls his eyes. God, it turns out the Professor is big into melodrama, like some stupid Shakespearean play. He didn't sign up for all this matchmaking bullshit, but catching Scott's big smile out of the corner of his eye, he thinks he's okay with the end result. He has a family again and it's fucking awesome.

He and Sean get elected to go, mostly because Hank is too self conscious and conspicuous, and it'd probably be better to stick to familiar faces. Logan just snorted and said something about babysitting duty.

So that's how he and Sean end up crouched in the shadows in Boston's warehouse district, watching the building across from them and waiting for their shot.

They bring a deck of cards, but Alex is still about to throw himself off the roof in boredom when he finally spots movement. It's Erik, looking distinctly grumpy and storming to the car. The vehicle practically jumps to attention, opening and starting before he's within ten yards. Tires squealing, Erik disappears from sight. They move quickly.

Sean knocks on the door while Alex lurks in the background and desperately hopes someone is home. Luck must be in their side, because not only does someone answer the door, but it's _Mystique_.

She blinks golden eyes.

"Sean? Alex? What the hell?"

"Can we come in, Rav- Mystique? Please?" Sean asks.

She holds open the door without protest, staring at them in bewilderment but at least not outright resentment. 

While they might not be fighting together anymore, they still did at one point, and that's not something easily forgotten.

Squeezing through the doorway, Alex flicks his eyes over the room, taking in Angel in one corner, that red teleporter in another, and finally that guy with the windstorms, Riptide or something. They're all watching Alex and Sean like they're something strange, and normally Alex would be offended, but at this point he doesn't give a shit. He's had a month of Professor X singing fire-themed songs at him, it'll take a lot more than strange looks to phase him. Seriously, something in him broke after the third rendition of, "This girl is on fire". 

"Erik's not here." Mystique says.

"We know, we waited for him to leave." 

As one, the room stiffens.

"Did Charles send you?" Mystique asks. At least, Alex thinks, she doesn't sound too upset, more curious than anything.

Sean shakes his head. "No, he doesn't know we're here. But we need your help."

"With what?" Angel asks. Alex doesn't look at her, forces down the betrayal. Focus on the game plan.

"We need to get the Professor and Magneto to fuck." Alex tells them.

Mystique chokes and Sean smacks the back of his head.

"Wow, Alex," he drawls, "You couldn't have found a better way to say that?" Sean doesn't contradict him though, and turns to look at Mystique. "You don't understand, Raven, it's awful. The Prof won't stop singing, and I mean yeah that's annoying for us and all, but then he gets all sad and starts singing _love songs_. He'll stare at the chessboard or the TV and just sing these awful songs and start _crying_. We can't take it anymore!"

Mystique stares at him for a few seconds. She shakes her head slowly.

"You think that's bad." Her voice is haunted, empty and broken. "You think that's bad and you haven't even heard Erik singing Pink yet. You haven't heard him _pining_ like a teenage girl."

"We need a plan, no?" And this time it's the teleporting dude, flickering to stand next to them. 

Alex nods. "We need a plan."

 

When it comes down to it, their differences really aren't that hard to reconcile. The Brotherhood members are perfectly willing to dial back the violence a bit and start working more covertly for the mutant cause. Raven was already planning to take an excursion into the Senate to influence the outcome of a bill and she has to admit that the rallies for mutants nearly balance out the rallies against them. 

Alex and Sean offer the mansion as a new base, room for them all. In the downtime, maybe they could help teach the children? In exchange, whenever the Brotherhood is planning an attack, like the few they've done on labs experimenting on mutants, a few of the X-men will go with them.

It won't be perfect, Raven knows, but it's still surprisingly comforting to know that their organization just doubled. Charles has Cerebro again, too, so the possibilities there are nearly endless.

Charles...

Yes, Raven is still angry. How could he embrace everyone else's mutation and then shun her for hers? What happened to the early days, when all Charles could do was talk about how wonderful her mutation was, how beautiful her blue form was?

Raven is still angry, sure, but most of her is so desperate to see her brother again that it's been overridden.

The plan is rather simple, kidnapping made easy when one of the conspirators can teleport. Azazel will bring the members of the Brotherhood to the mansion, pretending to be taking them all to a mission. Ten minutes before they leave, Raven will shoot off a text to Sean, who will alert the others and make sure Charles is where he needs to be. They'll let the singing do the work from there, and lock them both in an adjoining room. If they can't figure things out at that point, Sean is going to deafen them all. Permanently.

 

Charles doesn't know why Sean insisted he come with him to this dusty part of the mansion, particularly the observatory near some of the guest bedrooms. He tries to care, but he feels slow and sluggish after so many days confined to his room. Even his rendition of "With a little help from my friends" is mournful. Sean actually stops to hug him at one point, patting his shoulder carefully and telling him it would all be okay.

He doesn't care enough to rifle through Sean's head, just the idea is exhausting.

When they finally roll to a stop, everyone's there. They're watching him expectantly.

"Hello." Charles offers dryly. They look between each other, even the children are wearing their serious faces.

It's Jean who steps forward, coming up to his chair and staring into his eyes solemnly.

"You're really sad all the time, Professor. We're going to make it better."

Charles frowns as she backs away and rejoins the other children. He skims the minds around him with purpose, and his eyes widen.

"What-" 

There's a resounding pop and suddenly there are five more people in the room than there were a few seconds ago.

Charles is ready to be outraged, to scold his meddling students, to ask why they have to make this harder than it already is, but then his eyes lock on Erik. He watches the man go through a similar series of revelations, can see even through the helmet the darkening anger in his eyes. But he doesn't break eye contact, and the music rises through Charles, scorching him in its wake.

_"Can you forgive me again?_  
I don't know what I said  
But I didn't mean to hurt you." 

Charles sings, and forgets the people around him. He _wills_ Erik to understand. To his surprise, the next words don't fall from his mouth, but Erik's.

_"I heard the words come out_  
I felt that I would die  
It hurt so much to hurt you 

_Then you look at me_  
You're not shouting anymore  
You're silently broken." 

Erik is taking a step toward him, and his voice warms Charles from the inside. It takes everything he has not to reach out and grab Erik's hand, to hold on and never let go. The words slip out of his mouth now, easily.

_"I'd give anything now  
to kill those words for you_

_Each time I say something I regret I cry "I don't want to lose you."  
But somehow I know that you will never leave me, yeah."_

He prays that it's true, that Erik won't leave, that he'll stay and fix things with Charles, because he doesn't know how much longer he can go on like this. As if in answer, Erik's voice mingles with Charles' and they sing the next part together. _Together_. Charles doesn't notice everyone leave the room.

_"'Cause you were made for me_  
Somehow I'll make you see  
How happy you make me 

_I can't live this life_  
Without you by my side  
I need you to survive." 

It's Erik who grabs him, wraps his larger hands around Charles', strokes across his knuckles. Charles sighs, softly, and closes his eyes. Erik's hand drops to cradle his jaw. His thumb traces Charles' cheekbone and send shivers down his spine. Erik continues alone, soft and desperate.

_"So stay with me  
You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry._

_And you forgive me again_  
You're my one true friend  
And I never meant to hurt you." 

He trails off and Charles opens his eyes again.

Erik leans down and kisses him.

The whimper Charles emits gets swallowed by Erik, but despite that it's as far from aggressive as it can be. Erik brushes his lips against Charles' once, twice, like an apology, like benediction. Light kisses are pressed into Charles' forehead, his eyelids, the tip of his nose. 

Charles grabs onto Erik's shoulders, and his trailing hand brushes against the awful helmet. He pulls back slightly and finds Erik's gaze. 

"Please." He whispers. "Please Erik." 

Erik sighs his name and smiles. It's just a slight quirk of his lips, but Charles feels a piece of him click back into place. Taking his hands off Charles, Erik grabs the helmet and throws it across the room. It makes a truly spectacular clatter, but Charles doesn't even notice because he can _feel Erik again._

He doesn't realize he's crying until Erik kisses the tears off his cheeks. The other man's eyes look suspiciously wet, too.

Charles doesn't delve in, respects Erik's privacy more than that, but he wraps the warmth of the familiar mind around his all the same. It's like coming home.

"Charles, mein liebling, you're projecting." 

Charles doesn't respond verbally, just meets Erik's eyes and pulls him down. 

He takes full control of the kiss this time, throws himself into it. This one is not chaste, is not gentle as he licks his way into Erik's mouth, swallows the other man's groans. They pull back panting.

The click of a lock is surprisingly loud over the sounds of their desperate gasps.

Charles laughs, and for the first time since Cuba it doesn't hurt. He thunks his head against Erik's shoulder, and marvels that the man can maintain the uncomfortable hunch over his wheelchair for this long. Ruefully, he wonders if Erik is as determined to stay in contact as Charles is.

"They've locked us in." Charles tells him. 

Erik snorts and stands straight. 

"They do realize I can manipulate metal, right?" Charles hides his flash of disappointment, wondering how to ask that they just stay here without sounding needy.

It ends up that he doesn't have to, because after a few seconds of intense staring at the doors, Erik frowns.

"I think," he says slowly, "That they used plastic locks."

Charles also hides the flash of glee because that would be inappropriate. Some of it must slip into his voice, because Erik turns the frown on him.

"That's okay." Charles says, low and as dirty as he can. "They dragged a bed in here."

Erik's eyes darken, and he stalks back towards Charles. The lust that's practically radiating off Erik lessens slightly when his eyes are caught on Charles' wheelchair.

Charles smiles self-deprecatingly, hearing the thought as it crosses Erik's mind: _Can he-_

"I can. You'll have to do a lot of the work and it might not be what you want so I understand if-"

Erik growls and pulls Charles to him by the metal in his wheelchair. Then, scooping Charles into his arms, holding him like something precious, he stalks toward the bed. He lays Charles on the mattress, adjusts his legs, and finally straddles him. 

Charles gasps and Erik holds his gaze.

_"I have died every day waiting for you_  
Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you  
For a thousand years  
I'll love you for a thousand more." 

"Prove it." Charles begs, and tugs Erik down again.

 

They emerge hours later, Charles smug and Erik sated. 

It turns out the singing isn't as bad when Erik is there to duet with him. 

After prying the door off its hinges, Charles guides them to where the others have settled. The future is uncertain, and Charles doesn't know if he'll survive Erik leaving now, but at the moment he's happy. 

He's less happy when he and Erik enter the room and Raven, who's reclining in her blue form and chatting with little Ororo, changes into her blonde form as soon as she sees him. 

On reflex he rolls forward, knowing Erik is at his back, and grabs her hand.

"Charles-" She starts, but he cuts her off. The forced singing is perfect in this situation, because he doesn't know how to reassure her how much he loves her no matter how she looks, but the music understands.

_"You are beautiful no matter what they say_  
Words can't bring you down  
You are beautiful in every single way  
Yes, words can't bring you down  
So don't you bring you down today." 

Raven looks at him, eyes wide, and slowly, surely, slides back into blue. Charles grins at her, glad he can fix this one thing, because Raven had never been anything less than beautiful to him, and he needs her to understand that. After a second, she meets his grin and nearly pulls him out of the wheelchair into a hug.

He holds her back just as tight, stroking a hand up her back when she whispers, "I missed you so much" into his hair. 

"Please put on some clothes though, love. I really can't stand hearing Hank ogle you all the time." He says into her shoulder. She shakes with laughter.

"Professor!" Hank chokes. Oops, guess he'd said that one louder than he meant to. 

When Raven finally lets him go, he eyes the three newcomers, picking their names out of their heads carefully.

"Angel, Azazel, Janos, you all are of course welcome in my home." Charles glances quickly at Erik, desperate hope blinding him. He hasn't been paying attention to Erik's mind, just letting the background noise of it soothe him. The knowledge that it's there is enough.

Therefore, he's taken by surprise when Erik drops to his knees in front of him and starts singing.

_"You're the apple to my pie_  
You're the straw to my berry  
You're the smoke to my high  
And you're the one I wanna marry 

_'Cause you're the one for me_  
And I'm the one for you  
You take the both of us  
And we're the perfect two." 

Charles can barely breathe through the love in his throat.

"Oh," he says.

Bizarrely, it's this that does it, this song in front of everyone else, instead of the ones they sang to each either between the sheets. There's a noise, like a vacuum seal being broken, and Charles' ears pop. 

He stares at Erik, wide eyed, and feels the hope inside him die.

_No._

Hank is oblivious, rushing forward. 

"Well, Professor? Any urge to sing your feelings? Erik?"

"No." Charles says, weakly. If the jinx hadn't worn off, he'd be singing some variation of please don't leave me Erik, stay, please, but since he's not...

The silence hurts.

"I suppose," Charles says miserably, trying to hold onto the feeling of Erik wrapped around him, "I suppose that you'll be leaving now. The- the singing can't force you anymore. I know you couldn't control it, I understand." It feels like someone is scraping out his heart with a rusty spoon. He wants to cry, but the tears won't come. 

"Charles," Erik says. Soft, slow. Charles looks at the ground and tries to brace himself for the rejection. "You are the stupidest telepath I have ever met, I swear to God." 

Charles blinks, and let's Erik pull his head up. Their foreheads press together, and he hears Erik think, very clearly,

_You're the apple to my pie for god's sake Charles_. And then Erik shoves such a wave of love at him that Charles can't breathe. Erik loves him, still loves him, and Charles shoves his own wave of emotion in return. Judging by the mutters of the others, and distinct swearing from Logan, he didn't confine it to just Erik.

He doesn't care.

Charles kisses Erik right there and twines their minds together as tight as he can. 

_Don't leave_. One of them thinks.

_Never._

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry seems to be the hardest word by Elton John  
> Maybe I'm amazed by Paul McCartney  
> Can't stop singing by Ross Lynch  
> Shut up by Simple Plan  
> Someone Like You by Adele  
> Hard to say I'm sorry by Az Yet  
> With a little help from my friends by the Beatles  
> I can't fight this feeling by REO Speedwagon  
> Say something by Great Big World  
> Forgive me by Evanescence   
> A thousand years by Christina Perri  
> You are beautiful by Christina Aguilera  
> Perfect Two by Auburn


End file.
